When a daughter was here last, she asked me what attracted me to Carola, my wife of now 62 years. I didn't have a ready answer for her and thought about it. Remembering that we first met in December of 1954, and keeping it in the perspective of that time and until 1961 when we got married, it took me a while to formulate a good answer. So here it is, as well as I can recall.
It is a multi-part answer. She was/is pretty. She was fun to be around. She wanted to play (participate) and not be just a spectator. She was smart and realistic. Not necessarily a dreamer but she bought into my dreams for a life together. She was always her own person. She is/was independent, yet subordinate. And her family accepted me. Bert, her father, gave me good advice but only when I asked. And above all, she didn't express high hopes for anything from me.
My instincts about her turned out to be right. She arranged our wedding, set up our households, moved several times on her own because I went ahead for the job. She assured the schooling of our three children, from elementary through high school. Worked and participated at the schools to make sure they got the right teachers. She saw to their success much more so than I.
When the children were pretty much grown, she went to work, peddling baskets; and ran a franchise office for a group in Hampton, VA. She opened it, ran it, took over the bookkeeping, and then closed it for them when the franchisor backed out on them. Even finessed the clients from claiming ongoing support for the product. Later, in our own franchised business, we were partners. When we disagreed, we were able to work it out. Often, she was right.
She willingly went wherever we needed to be, whether it was to live or visit. In France, she made sure we saw Europe, all of France, Germany, Italy, and England by arranging trips for us. She always found a group of women with whom to associate.
She was an astute politician and, in her sorority, grew personally because of it. She overcame her reluctance to be in the spotlight, because her participation in that group required her to be there. A major contributor to her success was when she took the Dale Carnegie course. She wouldn't let me come with her at first, then after session 5, she invited me to come.
There's a lot more to her than people think. Reflecting, I think we led our two different lives, together.
